Monday, December 24, 2007

Mery Christmas to all - and Poetry train!

A Christmas Story

Copyright Roscoe James 2007

Twas the night before Christmas
And Santa was drunk
Down through the chimney
He fell in a funk.

He wandered around
First farted then belched
Tossed up his cookies
And felt pretty squelched

That’s when he saw her
She looked so sublime
Her legs all akimbo
On velvet reclined.

My Dear what’s your name
He asked with a smile
Virginia she answered
And blushed all the while

Oh my, he exclaimed
As he ogled her wares
You might catch a cold
Just running round bare

She giggled and wiggled
And wanted to know
What does it mean
To go… Ho Ho Ho

My dear not to worry
With time I will show
Just what it takes
For you to go Ho

Come sit on my lap
And whisper to me
What you want for Christmas
And I’ll make it be

My goodness dear Santa
Do you carry a gun
Or are you happy to see me
And thinking of fun

Don’t worry Virginia
You mustn’t think twice
Santa will show you
How not to be nice

Her eyes all a twinkle
Her nipples a glow
Her thighs all aquiver
She let Santa know

I’ve been such a good girl
It’s all such a drag
I think what I need
Is as night with a stag

A whole hour later
The jolly old man
Sprang up the chimney
And said, Yum Yum Yum

So on through the night
Dear Santa did ride
With a shivering Virginia
Close by his side.

Mery Christmas to all....
Virginia is tight!


Rhian said...

LMAO!!! BRAVO!!!! that was fabulous RJ! you rascal. I'm gonna snicker everytime i hear the original now.

Lisa Andel said...

Been drinking your breakfast RJ?

I'm with Rhian. I'll think of you and laugh whenever I hear the original. :)

Jill said...

Now, because of yo, RJ, every men would want to be Santa!!
Original and funny way of descriving the famous ride that Santa do!

Lakota Princess said...

WICKED! Can i play Virginia while you play santa?

Lakota Princess said...

Are you lost?
Should I send out a search and rescue team?
I've just been hired by British Intelligence, I think I can put together a team of expert trackers and haul your ass back.
007 Princess, that's me.

Batbitch said...

I know you're not here right now, but I stopped by to give you a NYE kiss anyway!


Lakota Princess said...

Happy New Year Roscoe James.

Jill said...

Is the lion dead?
Happy New Year, RJ!

Lakota Princess said...

no, the Lion Sleeps tonight.